"Uhhh, I don't think I should be doing this..."
―Mark is drunk driving.
Happy Hour is the twenty-fifth story mission in Grand Theft Auto: Life of Crime. This mission unlocks the ability to hang out with Albert.

Unlocks: The Big Bank Theory

Unlocked by: Carnival Date

Reward: $1,500

Mission Description

Albert is having a bad time and has nothing to do. Mark thinks of a solution and decides to take him on a friendship date.


First, drive to Cluckin' Bell off Coral City. Now head to Route 1A Bowling Alley. you don't have to play, you can just easily skip, even though Albert will complain. After you've done that, make your way to Jerkov's Bar. You will now be drunk and difficult to control. It is recommended you hail a taxi at this point.

Once you drop Albert off at his apartment, the mission is complete.


  • You need a vehicle.
  • Go to Cluckin' Bell.
  • Head to Route 1A Bowling Alley.
  • Now head to Jerkov's Bar.
  • He looks tired! Head to Albert's apartment.


[Mark enters the bar. He hears Albert ready to tear up]

Mark: What's wrong with you?

Albert: I'm a fucking mess! I am currently working in a cramped bar that is filled with spiders. We have customers once in a blue moon, and my boss is cheap. He gives me little money, and it's not much. My own health is suffering, can't you fucking see?

Mark: Hey, calm down, now. You can look on the bright side.

Albert: Not on my watch. [sniff] I don't see a fucking bright side. [tear tear] I am residing in my mother's basement.

Mark: Hey, you're not alone. I've been left for dead by my very own uncle. I'm on the search for him, and it's been a while. Just look at us. I guess we are a pair.

Albert: Yeah.

Mark: You should know life has its up and downs. How about I take you out to have a good time? We can probably stop by a restaurant.

Albert: OK. Sounds good. C'mon, let's roll.

[Mark drives to Cluckin' Bell]

Albert: I love me some Cluckin' Bell!

[Mark and Albert both return to the vehicle]

Albert: I'm in the mood for some bowling. Let's drop by Route 1A Bowling Alley.

[Mark drives to the destination]

Mark: Sweet, I never played bowling in ages!


Albert: Now I am in the mood for beer!

[They enter Jerkov's Bar]

Mark: Oh man, were you knocking back that stuff?

Albert: No. No. I swear.

Mark: I could've sworn it was just me. I hope you didn't slip a mickey in there, bartender boy.

Albert: Hey. I'll come over there and beat your ass with my beer bottle!

Mark: Wait, no!

[The duo gets back in the car]

Mark: Uhhh... I don't think I should be doing this...

Albert: I'm starting to have badass munchies. Any Heart Stoppers in here? No? God damn it.

Mark: Hard luck, dude.

Albert: [giggles] I LOVE LIFE!

Mark: Why is that?

Albert: The world is like a bag of chips. All shiny and pretty, then you open it and have infinite happiness.

Mark: What the fuck did you eat back at Cluckin' Bell?

Albert: Everything on the menu. [giggles] Especially the kids meal.

Mark: What the hell?

Albert: Did you know that I believe in the four basic food groups?

Mark: Yeah, fatass pig.

Albert: Chewies, gooies, munchies, AND crunchies!

[They arrive at Albert's house. The duo are now sober]

Albert: Thanks, man. Be seeing you!

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